I was told that a cash bar is tacky . Then I am thinking half of these people have to drive back home and depending on the person if they hear the word free alcohol drinks they fill up. I have a few people in my family who get emotional when drunk and I honestly don%26#039;t want to have to deal with the drunk emotional sister who thinks I am spoiled. The champagne will be free but if you want shots of certain alcohol or you want mixed drinks you have to come out of pocket . I have the money to do the open bar but I don%26#039;t have the patients to deal with the drunk guests...what would you do?
Cash bar or open?horses for loan
Why not just offer a bottle of champagne for the wedding toast for each table and a bottle of wine at each table for the meal. Actually even the wine is not necessary.
Drunk wedding guests turn UGLY.
Cash bar or open?
loan
my family and his family want us to provide a cash bar, which is fine, my wedding planner told us the time of our wedding (11 o clock) that all we would need to do is provide a champagne toast and then have a cash bar (mind you a very REPUTABLE wedding planner told us this).
So thats what we%26#039;re doing
champagne toast
cash bar
unlimited non alcoholic drinks
:)
EDIT: I had a best friend who just got married they spent over 5000 dollars on alcohol so many people (they didn%26#039;t realize) took advantage of the free alcohol, alot of people had some left over in cups and got more different alcohol, they said if they did it all over, cash bar|||Cash bar is by any means not tacky. I completely understand where you are coming from. I would say what you are doing sounds great. Free champagne but everything is they have to pay for. I know a lot of people who have done it this way!|||Have free beer and wine anything else will cost them. That way you are not tacky and they wont get super drunk.|||We had an open bar, and there were only a couple people who really %26quot;took advantage%26quot; of it. Most people kept things under control. I think if people want to drink, they are going to drink whether the alcohol is free or not. You just sort of have to deal with whatever happens, but hopefully people will have enough respect for your wedding day to not go overboard.|||Your bartenders should be trained to cut anyone off who appears drunk. That is one of their main responsibilities.
As a guest, I%26#039;d rather have no bar than cash bar. I don%26#039;t drink champagne so what options would there be that I wouldn%26#039;t have to pay for?
I%26#039;ve always been of the belief (and even etiquette says) that you don%26#039;t charge guests to drink in your home so why do it at your wedding, which is basically a party you are hosting on a larger scale?
Also, many people these days don%26#039;t carry cash, only plastic, and bartenders don%26#039;t take plastic unless you go to an actual bar, so guests would be required to be informed beforehand, and there isn%26#039;t any tactful way to do that. You can%26#039;t include it in the invites so it would have to be word of mouth.|||Never ever have a cash bar, it IS tacky as you were told. Because your reasons are to eliminate drama, as opposed to a budgetary one, I suggest that you have an open bar, but only have it for a couple hours, like during dinner and for the first hour or two following dinner, after that, it%26#039;s soda, coffee, juice, water, etc. I would let many of your %26quot;party people%26quot; know this in advance so they don%26#039;t get dissappointed. And also so they don%26#039;t think you%26#039;re just being cheap.
Or, if you think that%26#039;s going to cause problems, why not offer taxi service for any guest who indulged a little too much and needs a ride home? I had a shuttle for guests who needed rides, and it worked out really well.
Edit: upon reading further down this list...DO NOT give people drink tickets. I don%26#039;t care who says it goes over well...it doesn%26#039;t. You are not a company sponsoring a corporate event, this is your wedding, with your closest friends and family. Drink tickets are as bad as a cash bar. It says %26quot;hi, I want you to have a good time, but only these two drinks worth.%26quot; People usually don%26#039;t have time to drink enough to get thoroughly drunk at a wedding, unless you have bottles of wine constantly brought to their tables. Make sure the food and cake are good, and they%26#039;ll eat enough to keep from getting shnockered.|||Open Bar, Just make sure you have a taxi company ready for when you want to start shipping ppl out of there. And if this is your wedding you shouldn%26#039;t have to take anyone home. Have someone bartend so they can make the call when a person has had enough. Thats what I did at my wedding.|||I%26#039;m thinking about open just to be nice and then everyone can have whatever
if you have a bartender then there should be a limit to drive back safe...or set one up with them
or and you could rent extra rooms if you wanted for family
its your day and everyone should not be getting to drunk good luck|||OPEN BAR - however, the bartendar has the responsibility to cut people off - don%26#039;t spoil the enjoyment of other guests for 1 or 2 emotional possible-drunks
let the bartenders know of these emotional characters -|||Open Bar|||I think cash bares are always tacky...even if you give people 2-3 coupons for drinks and then do a cash bar for drinks after that. not appropo for a wedding.
I%26#039;d eliminate the liquor completely. Just do beer, wine, and champagne as the open bar. People are much less likely to get trashed and that is much less stress for you!|||Personally, I%26#039;m sick of people saying that open bars means people only come for something free. That%26#039;s more sickening then the original thought.
This post is not directed towards you, but more to the people who will responded with negativity towards open bars.
I was raised to believe that when you host a party (which is what you are doing at a wedding reception), you provide everything your guests need.
Would you charge your friends and family for drinks in your home? I sure hope not. The same applies when you ask someone to a party you are hosting away from your home. It%26#039;s the same principles.
Now to address your issue. It%26#039;s seems like you have no problem paying for and hosting and open bar. Your last statement is, %26quot; I have the money to do the open bar.....%26quot;
If you feel like certain relatives are going to ruin your day. Warn them. Make it clear their disrespecting behavior will not be allowed or they will be asked to leave.
Hire a bouncer even. You should not have to sacrifice an open bar (and good hostess etiquette towards other guests), because your sister has problems with liquor.
Your sister%26#039;s problems are here own. You can%26#039;t walk on eggshells and make certain cuts here and there to caterer to your sister%26#039;s %26quot;problems%26quot;
If she gets out of hand, have the bouncer escourt her out and a cab waiting outside.
The same applies to other relatives.
You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. You can%26#039;t keep avoiding liquor or prancing around the fact certain relatives are immature. It%26#039;s not fair to you, your new husband or his family. His family might want to enjoy a few drinks in a respectable manner. It%26#039;s not fair to make them pay, because you are dancing around a problem.
Let is be known that you will ABSOLUTELY not tolerate an immature behavior. Have your mother talk to your sister and other relatives.
Don%26#039;t punish your other guests, it%26#039;s not fair to you or your hubby.|||I have the same concerns as you about my family. But I was told people will walk out if I don%26#039;t have an open bar. And I found a place that offers it within reason. I%26#039;m also looking into hotels in our area (most family will travel %26amp; have to spend the night) that offer a shuttle service so I%26#039;m looking into arranging that for my guests (if possible).
I like the idea of free beer/wine but mixed drinks or shots will cost you.
And for Coffee%26#039;s comments - - if i were having relatives as guests in MY home, I wouldn%26#039;t be serving alcohol. I drink very rarely and don%26#039;t keep the stuff around. I don%26#039;t know why people expect alcohol at a wedding, but they do. Nobody ever has such expectations when coming to dinner.|||I don%26#039;t know what state your from but here in NY if some one get drunk at your wedding and has an accident you could be held responsible. I would check with a lawyer just to make sure. You don%26#039;t want to start your married life in debt.|||I here you, but like another person said, you wouldn%26#039;t charge someone in your house. Also assuming your going to at least get back what you paid for them to eat. I would go with free wine and domestic beer, all else paid or do a open bar for the cocktail hour and first hour of reception.|||You should never charge your guests to drink. If you wouldn%26#039;t do it in your own home, you shouldn%26#039;t do it at your wedding. The bartenders are responsible for cutting off anyone who appears drunk. Don%26#039;t punish your guests because your relatives can%26#039;t hold their liquor. Either have open bar (you can limit it) all night or no bar. But don%26#039;t have a cash bar.
What options do you plan to have available then for those who don%26#039;t drink champagne? I don%26#039;t drink champagne, beer or wine, and I don%26#039;t know anyone else who does either. So what would there be for those folks? Just water? Or would they have to pay for sodas or coffee as well?|||I have to agree with you, I%26#039;m a bit against 100% open bars.
I%26#039;m one to usually think things are tacky, but on this...there are too many issues to deal with. I%26#039;m certainly no teetotaler, but I also believe that alcohol is not a necessary component and I%26#039;m happy to pay for my alcohol (although once I had to pay even for sodas, and that annoyed me).
You have several choices.
You could have an %26quot;open bar%26quot; during a cocktail hour when everyone is waiting for bride and groom to have photos taken and arrive. Then either close the bar altogether or have it be cash bar after.
You could serve just beer, wine, and soda and have mixed drinks be cash (that%26#039;s what we did).
If you did a cash bar you could have the (free) champagne toast, and have an open bar for beer %26amp; wine before and during dinner, and all cash after dinner during dancing etc.
But yes, open full bar - to me - invites trouble and liability.
And don%26#039;t let anyone make you feel guilty or tacky about it. Guest will get over having to pay for drinks (it%26#039;s a lot more common now) far far quicker than they will forget some drama that plays out. And, it removes some of the liability from YOU if a guest does get drunk and gets in an accident.|||Well:
1. If you already know that there are some people on your invitee list who can not drink responsibly, and
2. You are concerned about people driving home just because they gorge themselves on free alcohol,
nix the bar altogether. Yes, a cash bar IS tacky. You don%26#039;t invite someone to your party and charge them for alcohol. It would be like inviting guests for dinner and charging them for the dessert. Not cool. With your concerns, simply go with the champagne toast if it eases your worries. Or, you could offer wine and beer instead of spirits, and for a limited time ... such as one hour only during a cocktail hour. By the time people have dinner, enjoy the festivities, and hopefully dance their a$$es off celebrating your marriage, they will be sobered up. Even though you say you have the money, don%26#039;t forget that it can end up being incredibly expensive. It%26#039;s one of those %26quot;floating%26quot; costs, because you don%26#039;t know how much it truly costs until AFTER everyone has drank up your cash. So, in addition to the bartender/corking fees, if people drink like fishes, it could be a disaster. My friend did a continuous open bar, and it ended up costing over $6,500 due to the alcoholics at her wedding!
Congrats.|||i was just like you for mywedding!! i only served beer and wine!! other drinks will just make more problems!!|||You write, %26quot;I have the money to do the open bar but I don%26#039;t have the patients to deal with the drunk guests...what would you do?%26quot;
You are correct. A cash bar is tacky.
Offer only a champagne toast . . . and after that a plentiful variety of non-alcoholic beverages. That way you will not to deal with any drunks. Do not offer a cash bar.|||My sister is having an open bar, but closing out completely earlier in the evening. (The exception is soda, juice and water) It%26#039;s not a matter of money as it is a matter of everyones safety and sanity.
Personally, I think it%26#039;s rude to have a cash bar at a wedding. (cue the thumbs down)|||Hi! We had a open bar at my wedding. We set a limit on how much alcohol we wanted to spend. The bartender was available for four hours. We didn%26#039;t have any problems. (We had a bunch of Navy guys at our wedding) When the bar closed at 9pm many of our guests went to the local bar to drink more. My husband and I even went! It was a blast!
Just set some limits on how much you want to spend and how long you want the bartender there.|||Have an open bar, period.
If you have an issue with your sister, talk to her OR your mother beforehand. Someone can watch your sister%26#039;s behavior to ensure she doesn%26#039;t get out of hand.
You don%26#039;t have to upgrade to the top shelf liquor, just get the basic package. People make that mistake way too much. You don%26#039;t need the fanciest of drinks! It%26#039;s not like with the basic package you%26#039;re getting crappy Vodka or anything like that, it%26#039;s just more limited.
A cash bar is tacky and people are going to wonder why you bothered to dump so much cash on X, Y and Z (things like flowers, ice sculptures, dessert bars and who knows what else - people do stupid things) and not an open bar.|||Definitely not doing a cash bar. Let your bartender know what your expectations are - for example, don%26#039;t allow shots. Actually, many places will not allow shots. Also, a good bartender will know when to cut a person off when they%26#039;ve had too much (I actually had to do that my first time bartending at a wedding and the person was cool about it).
Also, a wedding my fiance and I attended last fall had both - I believe it was well drinks and two different beers on tap and then if people wanted more premium stuff or bottled beer, they had to pay ofr it.|||I think you are right on! As long as something is free (champagne) then it is not tacky. You know your crowd better than anyone and it sounds to me like you are on the right track of heading things off before they get ugly. Good Job!|||I have been to many weddings where the wine for toasts and beer is free but spirits are on a cash only basis. Or spirits are covered for an hour or up to a monetary limit you set, then after that it is cash bar.
I dont think this is tacky at all. In fact, I thought it was the normal thing to do. A wedding should not be an excuse for people to soak up and get drunk on free booze.
I dont like the idea of handing out coupons or stipulating 1 drink per person. It sounds too much like policing.
I think you need to have plenty of free non alcoholic drinks, sodas, tea and coffee or punch, then free wine and or champagne and beer and cash bar for spirits.
But do bear in mind that people can get just as drunk on champagne....I know I do!!|||Open bar - but if you%26#039;re worried about people doing shots and stuff, ask your reception place/caterer if they can do just beer and wine... it%26#039;ll probably be a bit cheaper anyway!
I tried to scroll through the answers and see if anyone suggested this, but have you considered doing an espresso bar? I%26#039;ve heard they%26#039;ve become very popular with guests and can help people who might have had too much sober up a bit. Also, it%26#039;s a nice touch to balance out a slimmer alcohol selection. People are also doing hand-rolling cigar bars as well, they serve as a nice distraction so your guests have something else to do instead of just guzzling and dancing. I don%26#039;t know if your reception is outdoors or not, but it%26#039;s another idea I%26#039;ve come across.|||Give them a limit. Each person gets 1 or 2 free drinks (aside from the toast) and after that, they have to pay for their own drinks.|||Why even have alcohol available, but that obviously is your choice. Anything free means it will be abused, so having a cash bar will have grumblings, but be at least one safeguard to abuse on what is a joyous occasion.|||make the one drink on arrival a free drink have a glass or two of free wine with your meal for the toasts then let them pay the rest themselves,some people take advantage of open bars and youl end up married life in debt,trust me myself and other family members have worked in hotels and weve seen it all too many times
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